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daddy dilemma

by:Teesso     2019-09-17
Sometimes I think life was so perfect before the margar tower incident.
This is at least an unexamined life.
This may be a good thing.
An incident in Margaret ---
Just like those moments in life that tend to mean a lot of things ---tequila.
There is also a child.
My curse for the last eight years, Piper.
Piper and I had a great time exchanging funny faces with a super cute twoyear-
In a Mexican restaurant in East Village.
By that time, we were enjoying the perfect buzz for two people who had double income, decent rent, and didn\'t need 10 p home. m.
When she looked at me and asked, \"you won\'t be 42 years old, scared, leaving me about 27 years old --year-
Old eager to be a mother, do you ask a good question?
If I\'m really 42 and despair about not being a father, a logical solution is to find a young woman who wants a child ---
There always seems to be a lot of such people around.
But I prefer to avoid this.
This woman is the love of my life.
It took her long enough to find
I would rather live my life with her.
This is a deal.
We don\'t know if we want children.
I have about 65% fertility.
She\'s about 70% pairs.
When we all slip into the middle of us
When I was in my thirties, my personal dad\'s dilemma had quietly become urgent that I frankly did not expect.
I know that if I get off work early to see a football match, I really don\'t want to be the oldest person to pass on orange slices, or worse, got my ass kicked by some young dad in a sideline rage.
We don\'t need to breed tomorrow, but we can\'t wait another eight years.
I think decades later, she felt-
Now, more than she is, I think it\'s time to fix this.
You know a funky woman said on the phone, \"Oh my God, I forgot to have a baby\" I don\'t want to look up on 2015 and realize I\'m a version of that woman (
Despite wearing a shabby Philadelphia Hawks jersey).
The noise I started to hear was the ticking sound of my sociological clock. ------------
From the time I remember, I was told that I would be a good father.
My mother repeated the spell a lot.
It was a statement of fact for her and was supported by my concern and interest for my sister. (
As a four-year-old, whenever someone holds her, I will announce \"don\'t drop that baby on the floor \";
It makes my mom happy and makes my dad nervous. )
If she and my father are right about my education, then the idea of forming a family should be an attractive option.
They have done their part to continue this great life cycle.
I continue this pattern.
So it was promulgated.
Or at least assumed.
This is the plan.
The names of the Smith family will continue.
We may have the most common last name in the United States. S.
But our stock is very special.
The first Smith was my grandfather Morris, who died three years ago during a wonderful run in the Russian town of Minsk and ended 91 years later in the suburb of Tony in Philadelphia.
Upon arrival, his family was designated \"Smith\", a loose translation of the blacksmith\'s last name, and ironically, generations of the Smith family were more comfortable at the racecourse than at the metal store.
Morris is called Smitty, a nickname you can\'t hear anymore.
My father, Louis, and his brother, uncle Ralph, are two sons of Smith.
I have two girls with Lou.
Ralph and Kathy got married and he shared a happy trip with Kathyfull, kid-free existence.
This made me the only living male in my family who still has the potential to be a child\'s father.
Ten years ago, the first Smith said at my sister\'s wedding, \"it\'s up to you,\" I was --
His girlfriend looked in horror.
But one interesting thing happened on the way to the delivery class: I started dating a woman who could imagine a life that didn\'t involve a child.
At that time, we were still young, and the pregnancy boom between our friends took a few years.
Maybe I don\'t have to sow my seeds.
Being a parent is a choice. Who knew ------------She knew.
About ten years ago, I met Piper at a dive breakfast in San Francisco.
She is a girl who is used to being chased and rarely caught.
I ended up cheating her on a date with me and I \'ve been on a tight side since then.
We moved from the West Coast to Boston and finally to New York and survived family deaths, layoffs, landlords, legal disputes, terrorism, if they don\'t kill you, everything else will make you stronger.
Eight years later, we found good jobs, good friends and 10,000 songs on the iPod.
Only a few plants and cats can survive.
This is a perfect bohemian Yapi presence.
Why is it for an I-don\'t-want-to-grow-
A man in his twenties-
That is to say, myself and most of the people I know ---
Piper is a girl of dreams.
The New York Times column on oath may say: \"a children\'s actress who grew up in mass Brooklyn.
Friends said that Miss Kerman showed the same comfort, she was eating chicken wings while watching the game with the children while preparing complex Indian meals, while discussing the university alumni with her seven sisters. She loves wide-
Open space and horseback riding, but a miracle of decoration was created in her small New York City apartment.
She was in an organic garden in Berkeley like at a sample auction in Barney.
She never thought diamonds were the girl\'s best friend and was shocked when he presented her with seven gold rings and asked her to be his life mate.
Although her nanny for many years has given her a path to success with her children (
Not to mention the ability to change diapers in eight seconds with one hand)
What Miss Kerman really wants, she says, is a puppy.
\"Well, when all your fiancie requests to be a Bulldog, your friend will announce that she is the best woman of the year.
In fact, a man wants more than a partner who doesn\'t force him to get married and have children.
Part of this is Guy\'s gesture.
Many of my friends talked about a good game of how their wife ended up putting down the ban and asking them to do it, but deep down inside they were all happy that women forced it.
They know it\'s coming.
Most of us want it to come, even if few of us feel the time is right.
No one really believes that he will be ready to put another\'s life in his hands, a friend who calls it \"when all hell is gone \".
As another expectant father I know predicted, \"Do I want all hell to go away? The life we know is going to end, \"I think about 65%.
In addition to all the excellent media, this is a huge life experience, which can be said to be the biggest experience.
You wouldn\'t be going to Disney World without taking Space Mountain, but the question is: I don\'t know if I want kids ---
However, I want to convince my freedom
The other half of the fashion is what she wants. Ask around --I have --
Despite all the progress we have made in re-shaping gender roles, Piper and I are a rare breed.
This made the ball jump in danger and nervously on my field.
I can know for sure, if I can, how I did it when I was much happier with the life I created than I was, but I was far from satisfied.
Everything I \'ve been on Earth for 36 years is pointing to the profession as a source of salvation, so I \'ve always thought I \'d be happy when I wanted it.
But will the bar continue to be promoted, isn\'t it a kid who will make me understand what really matters? You\'re a Cuervo Gold-
Spanking, lost, lonely, or worse. . .
Until the child enters your lifeMaybe.
To be honest, I can\'t be sure that a child will do more for my satisfaction than any professional goal.
Anyone can have a baby. -
But only I can bring a really original new magazine to the world.
There is no way to determine.
I understand now that it would be easier if I didn\'t have any choice like my other friends.
Men and women do not have the same biological experience.
Their partner is pregnant.
They will be afraid.
They caught it.
They turned to babies. loving mush.
Digital photos follow. ------------
For Smith, it seems to be the oldest issue in the book for Smith, but for Smith like me, it\'s a whole new area.
My grandfather and my father never thought about these questions.
They have the plan and the road to their lives.
Not long ago, if you didn\'t have children, you might be gay, maybe weird, maybe sterile.
My grandfather and father have the same American dream: to create a better life for the next generation.
It\'s not even a problem for the next generation.
I picked Piper not because she was a fertile ship and a super mom for the future, but because I never met who I wanted to be with for so much time
She is a strong woman who looks sexy with a tool belt and is by far the best candidate in our familyfi (
Not to mention Wi. Fi).
Finding a partner in this modern world is not a trivial matter.
Okay, so after a while-
We got engaged seven years later. -
But I can say without hesitation, this is my woman.
To the surprise and admiration of my friends, until recently, Piper and I haven\'t actually spent much time talking about me--
My mother, my sister, my cousin\'s wife, and my dead grandparents. -
I always thought it was an inevitable thing for me from being late.
It was not until recently that we spent the morning with SpongeBob in the evening.
Surprisingly, a couple with 70 years of combined life did not stand on the most natural thing we could get and breed the species. Not really.
First of all, I\'m a man, which means I \'d be happy to avoid all the gray issues before I absolutely have to deal with them ---
Well worked MO so far.
More importantly, Piper has always made it clear that her dream has never been for a man to call her from her feet, push a stone on her finger, and start having children
She is a divorced child, which is no different from half the people born in her 60 s, but it does make her work harder before starting a family.
I\'m not a divorced Kid--
In fact, my family rarely divorced ---
But it seems to me that it is clear that the high divorce rate runs counter to what is generally believed to be a family-based concept.
Despite the social pressure of having children, research shows that people with children are as happy as those without children.
There are many kinds of happiness.
This is Piper\'s point. I can see it.
Maybe the kids didn\'t finish us--
Or at least not the only way to enrich life.
This is not a political statement.
This is not an emotion of \"we are too fashionable to be traditional.
But this is a point of view that bothers people.
We know many couples who are married and have children. They are now taking strange defensive measures against their choices.
Although I think this has more to do with \"burbs\" than babies).
We have other friends who want children very much, but haven\'t found the right partner yet, and the idea that we have found each other but may still pass on the identity of our parents to them
Piper believes us. -
Or at least she-
I would be happy if we were the only ones.
Time is, you have to have children. -
There are more people on the farm, etc.
Those days, those necessary days have passed.
Our fortress can stand on four legs.
This is a logical but relatively unknown idea, especially from a woman.
In fact, more and more women feel this way. -
But the reality remains that we are talking about recent history, not about the past 40,000 years or so.
I like children, but maybe I don\'t need to have my own children.
When the rest of the world asks to know why you don\'t want children, Piper\'s answer is that people should know why they want children, not why they don\'t.
Can you handle them if you want them? Are you prepared to be more specific? She wants to know, in her words, am I ready? -----------
While my fiancee\'s official party platform says she doesn\'t want kids, the \"emotional preparation\" section is fun.
She said she would consider the child, and for several years she would consider the child once she was sure that I had a more detailed understanding of the area I was going to enter.
But over time, the gap between \"emotional readiness\" has narrowed (if slowly).
I\'m old and calm. -yeah --
Smarter than I was before.
I am smart enough to know how much I have to learn.
My experience is enough to make me realize that people will rise with the celebration or disaster they face.
No one is ready to win the lottery or survive the tsunami, but you only have to trade when it happens.
In this sociological discussion, mathematics is like this: Piper 30% supports something north of zero.
Uterus, it seems to be ajar.
Finally, I know I\'m just a chicken.
I am afraid of having no children, just like I have children.
I have a nagging feeling that life may pass, and when the smoke of this Smith clears, I am worried that my experience will not be fully realized.
I don\'t want to be such a person who is so focused on his career and pursuing the joy I have traditionally found that the rest of my life is passively happening in the background.
But if you have a good thing and considering that it would be my idea if we had kids, then when would it be a good time? It is impossible for me not to be primarily involved in raising this matter.
I\'m totally in favor of taking the responsibility of traditional women, like dating and poop diapers, but moving my career to neutral, or worse, on the contrary, I want to be the Zen of the future and quote the poem of Joseph Campbell, who wrote: \"We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned in order to have the life that awaits us.
\"The problem is, I\'m not sure if I need to give up my original plan (a family)
Or an attractive new plan proposed by Piper (
An unlimited table for two people).
There is a lot of data on women\'s choices, and there is little choice for men.
Among the few official concerns about men\'s decisions --
In the process of having children, a study by Montana University called \"the experience of men deciding to have their first child\" found that men mainly talked about what they feared would be lost if they had children: the first is freedom, independence and intimacy.
The research firm said: \"I\'m really surprised how different the way they talk about these potential losses, whether this person is 18 or 40author Dr.
Andrew Peterson
So when we think of our father, we don\'t think about what we will get, but what we will lose.
This is a sad statement.
One that sounds very familiar. It gets worse.
Continue drilling down, cost-
The analysis of the child\'s interests will not yield net income.
Kids are expensive and the reason for the worry-
If all goes well--
When you crock, you will be completely crushed.
\"It\'s hard to understand why you did this,\" a new mother said, who went through a similar soul search before the rabbit died last year.
\"Then you see your child standing up for the first time. . .
\"Yes, yes, this is the greatest thing ever.
I\'m sure I\'m too cynical right away, thinking too hard.
But how can I find such a huge choice after weighing the external factors ---
Commitment from family, history, biology, economics, my friends and peers, Piper ---
I still find myself in a very real internal struggle and I have been waiting for magical moments to happen.
The trouble is that this moment hasn\'t arrived yet through Ofoto, one of the many sites my quick spawn friends reminded me that they are eager to share the latest cute candid photos of their children.
It won\'t come from a lot of preaching from my sister (
Two young boys, a newborn girl, and one hoping to name a vasectomy later)
He likes to turn around at family parties and declares, \"I just want you to know if you have a illegitimate child, it doesn\'t matter.
\"It didn\'t get to the plane where I wrote the article, trying to drown the two men in real awesome screams --year-
A few rows behind me.
If Piper decides this is what she wants to do, maybe eureka moments will come (
Or at least move her percentage to 50%).
She might be driving that fabulous 27-year-
Old waiting to have a baby with me, but when I threw it back and she wanted to know what she would do if I decided I had to pursue Dad\'s fate, she sighed, and you might convince me to do it.
\"But I don\'t want her to be on the boat if she\'s not completely.
I want a child.
The question is: can I live without them? I have done a good job without them so far.
The problem is that no matter how much the world has changed, even though we have made all the technological advances, there is still a way for children to find out.
Tomorrow: The salon will check in with Larry and Piper.
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